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The Challenge of discovering one's Identity... How to help Children

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Many adults feel lost and wonder if there is something missing from their lives. Even when some appear to have it all together, they question whether they have truly found their identity and are fulfilling their purpose. Many go through life everyday, wondering if they are doing it the right way or making enough impact. Many end up finding themselves in careers that they hate, in relationships that make them unhappy or they do not grasp any value from the people they are surrounded by.
It is commonly said:
“The two greatest days of your life are the day that you were born and the day you find out what your purpose is”.
If this sounds straightforward to some, it is very likely that they have already found their identity and are living it. If this sounds a little more complex to some, it could be because they have not fully established their identity yet. Within this second set of people, there are two subsets. There are those who have been exposed to an enabling environment through famil…

Relationships: 3 things you might want to look out for

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I have found that there are three key areas, which play critical role when you venture into your quest for love.

Emotions: The difference between your relationship with friends and that with a significant other is the degree of emotional investment you make in this person. You are literally clearing out a special portion of your heart to accommodate them and this therefore translates to the amount of love and care you show this person…or if you have not reached that stage of love yet, it is a case of how much the thoughts of this person and their position in your life clouds your headspace and sometimes even your judgement of the situation.

It is possible to have feelings for another person and care for them on a deep and personal level. But if you find yourself in a position where the situation overwhelms you and you are actually trying to convince yourself that there is something there, the truth is that what is apparent might be far from reality. If you let your emotions start to g…

You may choose to spare the rod, but please don't spoil that child

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As common as this statement in Proverbs 13:24 is, it seems as though it is gradually losing its meaning through generations, both literally and figuratively.

The behaviour that people exhibit is somewhat a reflection of their upbringing. So when we take a careful look around us, we would notice that there are behavioural traits specific to certain generations. Observing individuals from each generation, you would get a good understanding of why these traits are distinct.

People in our society aged about 45 and above were brought up in very strict households. In fact, majority of their mothers were either teachers, other forms of educators or women who had day jobs with schedules which allowed them to go back home at reasonable hours to face their children and households. Mothers then were very strict; some would even call them wicked due to their approach, which sometimes involved physical disciplinary measures or other means which, today would be viewed as extreme, dramatic or eve…

It's always about you!

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Some people may feel affection towards another person and may even feel that the other person is their “one”. Sometimes, it actually turns out that they need this person for themselves and themselves alone without much regard for the other person. It is unfortunate, but many of such people may not even realise this because they cannot tell the difference between loving and needing somebody.

When you love somebody, you will be sensitive towards the person’s needs and this means sometimes putting that person ahead of yourself.

When you love somebody, you cannot get the person out of your mind, you think about the person constantly, you miss the person and even start to plan your life around him or her.

When you love somebody, the person is never an after-thought, so even if you cannot see them at a certain point in time, you would want to know what they are up to, if they have had lunch or maybe if they are breathing…no matter how busy your schedule is.

If you are not capable of mis…

My Kind of Freedom

- By Amanda Obasohan

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind – Bernard M. Baruch

My thoughts:Why do people think I am strong-minded when I sometimes feel weak? How am I a savage because I tend to express my mind without a filter most of the time? Why do I find it so difficult to stick to rules, principles and the “this is how it’s done”? Why do I remember so much that has happened in my life since I was about 3 years old in startling details? Yet this did not translate to me becoming a first class student…rather, a mere 2:1 graduate. Does everyone think as much as I do? Why do I think it’s okay to start writing these thoughts and sharing them? Why am I so transparent? Why don’t I take things as seriously as others do? Why don’t I care much for people’s approval? And why the heck am I up at almost 3 a.m. writing this, when I could just holler at friends like Lani who would probably be awake too or at least sleeping with …

The Food Mafia at Nigerian Social Events

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Guest: Please can I get some food? Server: Food has FINISHED!!!
{server walks away very quickly}

Sometimes, this is the response you get at social events in Nigeria, especially those of a certain ethnic group located in the southwest region of the country.
I personally do not like to eat out if it is not at a restaurant or a home. I think that food at such events is mass-produced, diminished in quality and of questionable hygiene. So I have made it a rule to always fortify myself with a nice balanced meal before leaving my house. Unfortunately, it just happens that on two occasions over one weekend during this festive period, I was not able to eat before events and therefore became a victim of the Food Mafia. What made the situations dire was that on both occasions, I had done an intense work out just before heading out. So I’m sure many people in the fitfam clan would be able to relate this.
The first event was a lavish wedding. It was so crowded that the combination of the exhaustion …

Eagle Toastmasters Incoming President's Speech

It is very difficult to forget Barack Obama’s 2008 election campaign slogan, “Yes, we can”. As simple as this expression may appear, I did not give much thought to it at the time. I was still at university, and it is possible that I did not have enough experience in life that required the mental resilience that this slogan advocates for. Of course I believed in myself, but it was easy then: I was that stereotypical quiet, straight-A student who won all the private victories, majority of which took the form of written examinations and research projects that did not require much interaction with other human beings.
It might be true that private victory precedes public victory, but no one ever said that public victory cannot amplify the results of private victory. This, however, does not mean that a person whose disposition leans towards a quieter or introverted character will not attain the same level of success as the next person who may appear to be a more confident extrovert.
Duri…